no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
