She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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