it's not cheating when I paid for it
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
