these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Randomize
