dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
