I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
