he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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