Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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