Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
We're not piercing ourselves today.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
