This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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