I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
