is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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