I love black thongs
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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