Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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