I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
