she was so not down for the gang bang
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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