Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
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