That's when you crack a 10am beer
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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