my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
