Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
