I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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