i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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