sorry about calling you the devil all night.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
