This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
