that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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