I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Enjoy the penises
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