I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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