saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
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