I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
