check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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