It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
