it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Randomize
