omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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