The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
