Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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