And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I wish you could order shots online.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Randomize
