I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
