I heard we made out
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
