i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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