I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
