The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
