He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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