whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
