dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Randomize
