Welp...herpes.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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