You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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