I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Randomize
