I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Randomize
