All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Randomize
