and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
