When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize
