Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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