He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
