He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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